So, I decided to call my H to talk about all these doubts I'm feeling (fyi, I'm actually traveling for work, so maybe that's adding to all this feelings of doubts). And H was really good about talking out my feelings. He understood my doubts adn really talked about how normal it is. He even reassured me that he wants to be there for me to get through this. I actually feel much better.
And then I think the other thing that through me off emotionally was that last night I actually pulled up ow's myspace page and right there as her profile is a pic of her and my h. Now I know she put that up just for me. Then she added two blogs, one that says her h and the kids are family and he's the love of her life. And another one just for me - that the b--tch vicky don't check her out and that my private sticks (in not so nice words). Very classy girl isn't she. The quality of the person. I actually confided in H about seeing this, and again he was really cool. He said he told her he doesn't want his pics up there, and then he even told me don't even worry about all that she wrote and that's the stuff he couldn't handle about her the ghetto mentality. I like what H said that vicky you've above all that so don't even worry yourself about that that's just temporary and when she moves on and finds someone else all of that will be down. I begged him to not say anything to her about the myspace thing and I hope he doesn't b/c I don't want this girl to put all kinds of crap more about me on the internet. So I really hope for my sake that he doesn't. As I said to him by next week I will be over this, so I hope he leaves it alone. It would all just fuel the fire.
What was good is that H and I talked about that we want to be there for each other and he said that he wants to be there for me with this, so I hope he sticks to his word.
Anyway, I feel like gosh this saga still continues. But its so good to just have this website to write to.. very therapeautic.
