how to 180 when you've been too independent?

[avermont]

I have felt very confident in myself, my partner, and the life we have built in this small town together. I was proud and happy about how we have jointly contributed to this community. Thus...the wind knocked out of me to find he did not feel the same. Trying to get my legs back under me. Hard to know what I feel about myself just now.

Just to spew a bit more: the friends who ENABLED the affair--the OW is friends with them; was freeloading with them; they tolerated and encouraged my X to spend time and nights AT THEIR PLACE with her--just emailed me the invite to their annual Solstice party! And it wasn't a group email--it was specifically to me!! I am just barely in control enough not to respond: Are you f&***ing kidding me??! You two enabled this affair, my life is in a shambles, and I should go to your **&& party?

Wow wow wow.