nb1 have you read the threads on going dark? Here they are for your reference Going Dark
You seem intent on this line even though several posters have posted you suggesting otherwise. I'm just wondering why you decided on the going dark/ pitch black tack?
SO am I wrong to want to break no contact next week in hopes of meeting her for coffee?
the only time she has contacted me in the last three weeks was about text messages received by her from my family regarding thanks giving. when she sent these messages she refered to my parents as mom and dad.
am I nuts or was she checking up on me because she hadn't heard from me?
she sent my parents photos of the cabinet my father made for her after her grandmother painted it. she also posted them on facebook commenting that her father in-law built it for her.
Are you absolutely sure that's what you want to give her at this time? What's the rush? I would think long and hard about this and not make a rash decision just yet. Give yourself a break and wait until the middle of January. Then, if you are absolutely certain that you want to file, then do so. But don't do it when you are feeling the way you are right now. Okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I have been reading and have now read divorce busting and the divorce remedy.
given the time i have spent i have decided to give my wife what she told me she wanted last month for christmas.
A divorce.
nb1, I understand completely where you are at. Your emotions right now are running around and around and around in your head.
What can I do to stop this?
What can I do to get W back?
What can I do to stop feeling like this?
We've all been there mate. You need to slow down a little and take a huge deep breath.
Life is too short for this stuff. Slow down. I don't expect you to believe me as when I was in your shoes, it took me a while to listen too.
First thing to ask yourself is, what do YOU want? Forget what W wants, what do YOU want?
My guess is you are going down the road that I was going down - to stop the pain I am going to get a D as that will finally free me of it. You're probably also getting good advice from friends and family on this too? They are no doubt telling you to get a D? Right? Don't fool yourself. A D is NOT the answer.
Slow down. Deep breath. What do YOU want?
Last edited by P17; 12/13/0903:10 PM.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
It's normal to wonder what she's up to. It will take some time to get passed this stage. You have to find a way to keep your thoughts in the here and now and on you and your children, not on her. If it will help, think of her on a very long trip around the world w/no phone or email contact. Whenever you start to think about her, find something to do or better yet, put a rubberband on your wrist and snap it.
Please do not go out there and file for divorce unless it is absolutely what you want. Trust me, the divorce is nothing more than a piece of paper and things will not change until you determine that it's really over and have moved on. Filing for divorce has to be for you and not to try to "snap" her out of it and have her come home. It won't work that way.
The path you are on isn't an easy one, but we all try to make it a better one. If you stumble and fall, someone will be here to pick you up.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
