Not really piecing and trying not to jinx it, but

[Freckle6]

I was supposed to go over to his place Saturday night and he texted me that he was sorry, but he had been nervous all day about me coming over and that nothing's off the table, but he wasn't ready for me to come there yet and he wants to take things slow. I was upset, but tried to hide it and just said ok, I understand. He thought I was mad anyway. I was confused because he and I talked the night before and he was fine.

About 45 minutes later after I had time to think things through rationally I texted him that I was sorry I was short earlier but that I really, really appreciated him being honest with me [this past summer he just pretended nothing happened when he got freaked out and ran back into the tunnel and other times he's just made stupid excuses to me) and that I understood and don't want to rush anything either. Once I thought about it I did realize that him being honest about freaking out about us was a big deal and a huge change and I wanted to let him know it was ok. At the end of my text I said, "friends still?" and he said of course. I have to say that I think I handled this perfectly after my initial shock wore off.

He texted me again later and said he hoped we were more than friends and that he was sorry for freaking out on me. I reassured him I totally understood and that I was happy he was being honest about what he was feeling. He said he was embarrassed about where he lived but he did want me to see it soon. I told him that I didn't care about any of that and if he never wanted me to see it, I'd be ok with it. We talked for a while more and I did end up going over to see him. I made sure he was sure and I told him that I didn't want to go over only to have him get more freaked out the next day. He said he wouldn't.

We had a great time. Goofing around, talking, etc. My son was surprised to see me in the morning and thrilled. I made moves to leave early that morning because I didn't want to infringe on his visitation time or hang around past my welcome, but he kept finding reasons for me to stay.

He started texting me a few hours after my son and I returned home and we texted back and forth for hours. Some steamy stuff... but that was an issue before so it's nice to show him the changes. He hasn't retreated at all. We chat or text every day and it's mostly initiated by him--probably 75%.

All in all, I'm very happy with how things are going. I'm feeling more comfortable around him in person, even though most of our interactions are via texting or the computer. It is nice to be able to have that chance to edit your words before they fly out of your mouth.

One thing I've noticed is that he doesn't bring up a lot of things that were his "reasons" for leaving in the first place. Some things have come up and we've talked about them pretty rationally and he doesn't have that intense
"you did this" and "you never did this" thing going on when they start spewing in the beginning to justify what they're doing. It's as if the slate is mostly clean. We've acknowledged stuff so it's not like the elephant in the room, but it's not dwelled on.

I'm still cautiously optimistic. It's been a month now since he actually acknowledged wanting to see if we could work things out and even though he's gotten scared a couple of times, he hasn't run back away. Baby steps, baby steps.