It's too hard sometimes

[TooLateForMe]

I'm thinking back over the events that led up to this sitch, and I'm starting to think there was an affair. She's sworn there wasn't, but there are a lot of gaps in her accounts and what I assumed was a semi-EA. I didn't think much of the guy and didn't think it was in her character to do anything serious.

Facts: she encouraged me to flirt w/ a girl at a bar. I did and felt immediately guilty and spent the night wishing she would have stopped me. She seemed happy that I was doing it. That same night I saw OG watching W very intently. I brought it up, but she blew it off. I tried to kiss her earlier that night outside the bar but she said no, that it was too confusing for her.

I got a very good job offer right before moving out on our trial sep. but she encouraged me to leave because we still had the same R problems. The biggest problem was money and my lack of a job.

After I got my head straight and wanted to work on the M, she agreed but a day later (right after her therapy session) declared she wanted a D (hadn't even mentioned this up to that point).

I noticed a gift from him in "her" living room, prominently displayed, a crumby piece of "art" in the shape of a rose.

She's mentioned he's "slept on her couch." I (inappropriately) asked D13 about this, but she claimed ignorance of this fact.

After a "fight" w/ OG about his being clingy, she declared they weren't even friends any more.

This may be paranoia, but there are lots of little things like these.

I want to confront her about this, but don't know what to say at this point. She considers there to be no M. I also don't want to be passive-aggressive about it until she says "why are you so cold?" That's the old me and I'd rather just come out and tell her I fully believe there was an affair, if not before I moved out, then shortly after... i.e. during our "break."

I'd love to nail her w/ "I'm pretty sure you cheated w/ OG. Or at least ditched me so you could be w/ him."