In her mind the marriage is dead and gone, we are physically seperated etc. How does addressing the OM at this point do anything but look like being desperate, etc. Yes my son's family is not intact. But that was not my decision. She made that decision. Now I can't be the fixer for her. It is like you said, no favors, no assistance right now.
Yes I missed that opportunity when it was staring me in the face and I didn't see it - I was in a fog. Wish I could go back in time, but what is done is done on that. What would you have me do Coach, bring up something again which only makes me look pathetic or move ahead and show her I can be happy on my own? Am I missing something here?
Greek, the tracking of information was in the past, long before I joined this forum and I agree with you that is why when I was so angry and so vindictive that I waited for a cooler head to prevail. Discussed with my brother. My brother isn't like most people's brothers - he doesn't sugar coat any of my actions or hers. But He wants me to be better in the long run regardless of any quick fixes in the short run. After a long discussion with him, and follow ups with him. Being vindictive was from being so attached that it was a positive force for me. He helped me see what is what. Since then I've gone dark. I've made small mistakes here and there but am setting my boundaries and sticking to them. I'm learning to fully detach from her emotionally and just work on me. That is where the quest for being compassionate and selfless come in to play.
