I have told people close to her about the sitch and the TRUTH. I know this will really annoy her, however I really think do I want somebody back who can't get over the fact that I have told people the truth? What sort of person get's angry and refuses to go back to somebody they love because their image has been tarnished?
Bear in mind that they did the deed and destroyed the M. If their image is more important that your family, then that is one HUGE pointer that they are NOT worthy of that family.
WAS's are cowards. Pure and simple.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
P17, you see at the moment it's not an affair people know about -it's just dating after we split - it's not even infidelity in they eyes of the law here in Ireland.And still I think it's the dealbreaker for him - not that everyone knows but that I know.
"Adultery is the voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and another person who is not his or her spouse" - http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=define:adultery (don't know why that won't turn into an actual link).
But if it's such a non-problem where the law is concerned and nobody knows about it, how does it affect his image?
Last edited by P17; 12/08/0911:42 PM.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
But you know what? If someone really wants a relationship, they face the mess...look at everything the WSs were willing to give up when they got involved with their affairs!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
P17, I don't know - it feels like he wanted to come back in July without revealing anything about OW2 and anything what might have happened before with OW1 - moving forward how he calls it - and he also said on the first day that he wasn't angry anymore about the spending and all - and it would have worked if there wouldn't have been the little comments all the time - I was planning to visit him and he would tell me we could go out and go to the cinema i.e.- and a few days later we spoke about it again and he said that he had to work while I was there and I said fine we can still have a good time in the evening - and his answer - yeah if we would have money... comments like that just drove me nuts - it felt like forgetting everything was just one sided. And then after 10 days I asked him why he wanted to try again - I just wanted to hear it and he answered me that he could be happy without me but because of the long time we had been together he thought we should give it another go and he went mad why I forced him to say it and he finished it. And I knew before I asked the question that he would end it and I had to ask it anyway
Your H can't come back and expect not to talk about his affairs. Actions = consequences. He has affairs. Okay. He wants to come back. Okay. He does the work to make that happen. Whatever work that needs to be done.
My 2x4 is that he sees you as a doormat and is going to walk all over you until you put your foot down, shut the door and tell him to come back when he starts acting his age. Then you will TALK.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
Oh he did try to come back and we tried for 10 days and now it's not an option anymore as now I found out about some of the lies. At least that's the reason I think.
He said : I am a liar and you are deceitful - there is nothing left for us to move forward. He says I am deceitful because I told him I would forget the past but actually didn't mean it - he doesn't wamt to get burned again.
