Lynn you're making excuses for her behavior and I think you know this already, you're just afraid of the consequences, you're afraid of losing your wife and your marriage and that's understandable.
However your wife knows this too.
And she uses this to her advantage, I kid you not.
This is a very good place for her to be in, she can pursue another affair and you are sitting in the background enabling her to do so.
How long have you been at this?
I know the answer is tough to hear but I'm not going to sugar coat it.
If you keep blaming her behavior on MLC then she has her get out of jail card and she knows it.
I would wager she has had several affairs, you just know about a couple.
Time to let go.
You want to know if you're marriage is going to last, if you're going to be able to fix this, it won't by the way you're doing it, especially if the radar is up about her sudden unexpected trip.
Here is what you do if she still hasn't left on her trip.
Stand up for yourself, take a stand for yourself.
"I want to be able to trust you but your past actions have made me hesitant about you & your intentions and I can't live in limbo forever and I can't be quiet about this either. If this sudden trip of yours involves meeting some other guy and having an affair, I'm letting you know now that I respect myself too much to go through this anymore with you. If you cross that line again, I will personally pack your things and kick you out of the home and move on with my life which includes not wasting my time on you anymore. I respect myself too much to let this continue. Can you be transparent about what you're doing on this trip and who you will be with or are you going to keep it a secret? If it's the latter, I guess I know my answer already."
Seriously, you want to stop these affairs? You have to stop them by standing up for yourself.
No more of this half-assed, one foot in one foot out marriage.
Why do you tolerate less than 100% wholehearted effort? Is that good enough for you? Obviously not because you're posting on these discussion forums asking questions. You want more, go out and get it. Tell her that's what you want and if she can't do that then you can't live in limbo anymore and it's time for her to leave - you aren't some dumb schmuck who has to live at home waiting for his wife to come back from her dates with other men - seriously who could tolerate that kind of disrespectful treatment?!
