And I have noticed this weekend, his cell phone has not left his side, tucked in his back pocket, mowing the grass, walking the dog, it goes with him everywhere.
That's OK. A wayward will eventually let their guard down, make no mistake. But you have to be PREPARED for it. You know what they say -- "Luck is what happens when Preparation meets Opportunity."
You know, like maybe they leave it out while they take a shower.
Good job being prepared, Maple, even tho you knew it might be something you didn't want to see. The guy who mentored me thru my sitch used to say that waywards instantly lose 30 IQ points when they begin their affairs. I believe it.
Good job being prepared, Maple, even tho you knew it might be something you didn't want to see. The guy who mentored me thru my sitch used to say that waywards instantly lose 30 IQ points when they begin their affairs. I believe it.
Puppy
Puppy, I just wish I was more focused when I had the opportunity. Like checking date/time on a couple of the texts. But I just wanted to look as quickly and see as much as I could as I did not know how much longer he was going to be in the shower. Plus my hands were shaking like crazy.
Me: guess you can find out later. Maybe it was one of your GF's (trying to joke).
Why would you joke about such a horrible thing??
It's a passive-aggressive tactic. Like the guy who asks someone out, then says "I was just kidding anyway" when he gets turned down.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Should I wait till our Sat date night to let him know I will not tolerate OW (that is if I can keep it together until then)? The next few days will be busy for me and the kids so I can focus on all the other activities going on to help me through until Sat.
I need to work on my speech/wording. Maybe I will have time tonight to sit down and compose what I am going to say and post it for review. Plan to say will not participate in open marriage, H is being disrespectful, H needs to terminate all communication with OW (full transparency) and if he does not, he needs to move out as I will no longer be disrespected in the family home.
After he denies affair, I think he will say ... (I know I can't mind read but I have a feeling based on previous conversations) that he will not move out and he will just go downstairs. How should I respond if he just wants to move downstairs?
Just want to be prepared as much as I can for different scenarios/response from H.
Why would you go on a "date" with him if you just found out he was cheating on you, and lying about it??? That just totally sends the wrong message.
I think you should send him a terse note, as a courtesy: "Considering all of the recent deceit on your part, I really don't think a 'date' is appropriate at this time. I have decided that I will no longer be disrespected that way. MapleGal"
Good job being prepared, Maple, even tho you knew it might be something you didn't want to see. The guy who mentored me thru my sitch used to say that waywards instantly lose 30 IQ points when they begin their affairs. I believe it.
Puppy
Puppy, I just wish I was more focused when I had the opportunity. Like checking date/time on a couple of the texts. But I just wanted to look as quickly and see as much as I could as I did not know how much longer he was going to be in the shower. Plus my hands were shaking like crazy.
I understand. I had the EXACT same thing happen to me! My heart was beating thru my chest practically, and my hands were shaking!!
One important note here, MapleGal: do NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, reveal to your husband your source of intel!!
It can work to your strong advantage that he doesn't know what you know, and he doesn't know what you DON'T know . . . ya know??? If/when you decide to confront him, a blanket "Oh, I know all about you and ________ . How incredibly disrespectful to me, to our marriage and to our family."
Think about that for a few minutes: he knows that you know, but he doesn't know WHAT you know. It's a distinct moment of power, in an often powerless situation.
Why would you go on a "date" with him if you just found out he was cheating on you, and lying about it??? That just totally sends the wrong message.
I think you should send him a terse note, as a courtesy: "Considering all of the recent deceit on your part, I really don't think a 'date' is appropriate at this time. I have decided that I will no longer be disrespected that way. MapleGal"
The "date" was already in place from previous R talk about us spending more time together to reconnect. We actually do not have anything specific planned except his sister is coming over to sit for us.
I guess I figured if I could keep up the pretense of it being a "date night" that I might catch him off guard.
I am interested on how he will act when he returns from work tonight especially after my passive-aggressive comment last night. Do you think he knows that I know or at least suspect?
That just totally sends the wrong message.
If/when you decide to confront him, a blanket "Oh, I know all about you and ________ . How incredibly disrespectful to me, to our marriage and to our family."