Oh GF, I'm so sorry. He has OW and she's 16? Seriously? I don't remember hearing that before.
I believe that the stepson's GF is 16.
If her 35-year-old husband was sleeping with a 16-year-old girl, forget trying to save the marriage; goodfight should be calling the cops.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Jon, it is the stepson's GF. D13 said that H was crying on Thanksgiving night telling my stepsons and her not to ever get married then divorced, because divorce is so hard. WTH? Then why not try to reconcile? Yesterday was my birthday and nothing! No text, no card, nothing and I was kind enough to get a present from the kids for him and everything. I even text him "Happy Birthday" when it was his, thought it was the right thing to do.
No, you did the RIGHT thing. I'm saying to just be content in that, and stop looking for a reaction from her.
Look, you either do something because it's The Right Thing to Do, or because you're looking for some sort of reaction from your wife. It can't be both.
I did it because it was the right thing to do. I guess I expected him to do the right thing also, but I was wrong again.
...which brings us back to PDT's original comment.
If you did it because it's the right thing to do, then be content with that. If they respond positively, that's a bonus.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
You did the right thing. True that he did not reciprocate. And yes, that hurt you I know. I did the same thing for my W. I got her a present for her birthday. She did not return the action. I didn't expect it either. I didn't get her one to get one back. I just did it because I love her and it was the right thing to do.
That being said, I am with you as far as undecided about whether or not I will get her something for Christmas. I probably will now that I will be spending it with her and her family. But I don't expect anything in return.
If you get your H something, also do not expect it to be reciprocated. If you choose to do it, do it only because it is something you wanted to do with no expectations.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
He did thank me though. I didn't do it to get one back but just thought he would be thoughtful enough to at least text me to have a happy birthday. And it did hurt Kevin, big time. I am really confused about Christmas too.
