Welcome to a great place filled with wonderful people.
You have a lot going on in your thread and there are some areas I don't have any experience with so I will leave those to some of the other people to weigh in on.
Did you both happen to go to therapy after your affair?
Him being deployed isn't an excuse for successful/unsuccessful rebuilding. If you both were truly committed to your marriage and rebuilding from your affair, then nothing would have stood in the way.
None of us here want a divorce however sometimes that is just the way it happens though by that time you will be stronger and more in charge of yourself.
Keep reading here, keep posting as well. The book is very helpful so if you don't know when it will be in, I would see if the library has a copy you can use for now.
As for this...
Originally Posted By: undefeated
I just want to fix this stupid mess I’ve made
It is up to him to fix it. You have no control over him or the situation he has made. You can set boundaries/make good changes within yourself/do 180's/gal etc...But know this, he made this mess - Not you.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
