I know the first response is for hatred towards my husband, but I don't and I don't want to bash him.
No, not at all. You are just stating the story of your marriage. Hell when I re-read my thread it can send me into a tizzy but I don't want to breed hatred either.
I was confused reading your post though... did he actually go through with the vasectomy? How often is he picking up the kids/do you see him?
Has your attorney reviewed everything and advised you yet?
