Norm, you asked how I kept it to myself for 5 months. It wasn't easy but I had my reasons. I dropped just enough hints for my H to have a very clear picture that I knew exactly what was going on without actually saying it. One day I casually said to him that it must be awful to have friends and co-workers that are so unloyal. He asked what I meant and I just winked at him and smiled and said "oh, just a thought that popped in my head". This began months of paranoid behavior by my H but he wasn't living with me anymore so I didn't have to deal with it. In fact, I went dark and let him wonder.
I had very strategic reasons for handling things the way I did. I knew there was no chance of my H and I getting back together so I did what I had to do for me and my future.
In fact, it angered him that I would not just come out and say it because he had no clue exactly what I knew but he knew I knew *something*.
This began months of BS coming out of his mouth that I simply would not listen to. He would tell me each day he can't be married anymore and I started to say things like "I understand, it's hard to be married with outside circumstances dictating your life" and that threw him off and made him stop dead in his tracks.
It was a power play on my part and one I used very wisely. Now, we don't have children so I didn't have anybody else to consider. Had children been involved I might have handled things in a different way.
When I did confront him in a very calm way he flipped out. The less I fed into him the more angry he got. He knew he was done and anything short of total cooperation on his part would result in an absolute public sh*t storm that he would not soon forget.
