My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

Thanks. I would have had less self-respect if I hadn't gone to visit the lady. Some things must outweigh awkwardness.

I'm including something here from Alan Wolfelt, who is one of the current experts on grief work. No, this isn't a grief forum, but it is something that we deal with quite a bit, and hope to grow from. It's about being a companion rather than a "fixer" of other people's guilt and pain; it's one of the things I also based my pastoral ministry around.

1.Companioning is about honoring the spirit; it is not about focusing on the intellect.
2.Companioning is about curiosity; it is not about expertise.
3.Companioning is about learning from others; it is not about leading.
4.Companioning is about walking alongside; it is not about leading.
5.Companioning is about being still; it is not about frantic movement forward.
6.Companioning is about discovering the gifts of sacred silence; it is not about filling every painful moment with words.
7.Companioning is about listening with the heart; it is not about analyzing with the head.
8.Companioning is about bearing witness to the struggles of others; it is not about directing those struggles.
9.Companioning is about being present to another person’s pain; it is not about taking away the pain.
10.Companioning is about respecting disorder and confusion; it is not about imposing order and logic.
11.Companioning is about going to the wilderness of the soul with another human being; it is not about thinking you are responsible for finding the way out.

So perhaps this is my bias in perspective, but since no one her is an expert--and yet we're all had far more expertise than we ever wanted in all of this--it seemed appropriate to share. Use it or not as you feel appropriate.