So here's a question for everyone out there... (Hijacking GIMA's thread for him...)
This seems to happen frequently (here in GIMA's sitch, multiple times in my own sitch, in others, etc): A sitch is in limbo - no D in progress, but no reconciliation. The R seems to be getting friendlier and closer and the WAS suggests going to MC (or retro, etc). Once there, however, they close up, say they are done, want only to talk about how bad the R is and say the MC is only to talk about coparenting, etc.
Why do they do this?
If they are done, then why do they want to go to a MC? What do they hope to gain by going to a MC to talk about getting divorced? If they want to get divorced, why not just schedule a discussion with a mediator?
It would seem that while coparenting discussions with a MC would be a good thing to have once the details of the D are worked out, having them before working through the mediation process or before either person has filed for D would seem to be very premature.
Is the WAS looking for the LBS and the C to validate his or her desire to leave the M? Are they looking for confirmation of their decision? or do they just want to have their negative thoughts heard and validated and don't feel they can do that without a C?
Feedback? Your thoughts?
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BTW, my opinion is in no way learned, but I would think that the best line to hold would be "If you want to talk about improving our R in some way, then by all means let's go talk to a MC. If you want to talk about getting a D, then let's visit a mediator. But let's not mix them up."
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
