I'm new wondering if this works...

[TrentC]

But him taking out his frustrations directly on my S is freaking me out to no end. I'm afraid that if I up the ante toward a D, the abuse will increase, AND I will not be there to see what happens to my S during visitation. This is why I am willing to put up with anything to keep him here until my S is older - so that I can monitor and protect my son.

No, the real solution is that you get out and get your husband out of your life as best you can. I don't see how you are doing your son any favors, letting a man that you admit is hurting your son to get to you have access to him.

Sounds sick, I know. But I cannot up and leave and never have my S see his father again.

Want to bet? It happens all the time.

So I'm struggling to diffuse the abuse by keeping a close watch and getting H into therapy.

That won't work. You can't fix your husband, and he'll resent your trying.

As for me it's a different issue. I need to distance myself as much as possible because he has hurt me for so long and sees none of it. He's the victim.

Um, how do you figure that?