Coping with Bi-Polar WAW

[CountingCrows]

Glad to have got a chuckle out of you. I started to say condoms, but figured that'd be too sick of a joke at this point. That's what I need to bring up with my W, though, that we don't need to exchange gifts this year, just concentrate on giving S7 the best Christmas we can under the circumstances.

Took a big step today (for me). Due to W's uncontrolled (and often hidden) credit card spending and my misdirected attempts to try and appease her every "want" over the past 3 years, we are in a critical financial situation. After putting it off for over 4 months, I finally contacted a referred bankruptcy lawyer and I'm meeting with them next week for the initial consult.

Unfortunately, our imminent joint bankruptcy is a blockade to D being filed (well, that and the fact that W doesn't have the money for a lawyer). I know that it won't happen quickly, but once the bankruptcy is cleared, a D could be a more likely possibility, if that's what she (or I for that matter) choose to do. I seriously hope that W realizes that I'm simply doing this to protect both of us financially, as atty letters are already starting to come in for credit cards she defaulted on earlier this year. I'm certainly not trying to speed up our ability to D.

Also on my mind tonight is a raggedy, boney feline (Mr. Jones) sitting next to me sneezing his head off. He's old and has been terribly sick (kidney failure) for the past year. His quality of life is simply not there anymore. W found this scrappy kitten outside of a friend's apartment in Boulder during the middle of winter before we were even married. He's always been "her cat". He slept with her every night until he got sick and could no longer control his bodily functions. She left him with me when she moved out, as roommate already had 2 cats that weren't on her lease. We both acknowledge that he needs to be put to sleep, but I've put it off since this summer because of our sitch. Today, I made the veterinary appointment for Wednesday, and I'm going to let W know about it tomorrow morning.

I'm not worried about W being mad at me, as we both know it's the right thing to do. Earlier this year, we allowed our beloved Pomeranian to die of inoperable cancer at home, and we both agreed that we should have never made her suffer for as long as we did. It brought a lot of guilt down on us for our selfishness of not wanting to let her go. Also, it was quite traumatic for S7 who was very fond of the Pom. Still, I just hate to have to do something like this, when emotions are still so raw on all sides.