On night of last R talk, we ate dinner as a family, he helped with dishes, played with kids, helped kids clean up toys, cuddled at night in bed. It seemed all good. But since that night, nothing has really changed. I see no effort on his part except sleeping in martial bed.
After last R talk, I thought maybe I would give him the benefit of the doubt and move forward with the assumption there is no OW. (Maybe I am naive, but I am trying to be optimistic. I have not eliminated the possibility of OW and will still look for intel gathering opportunities– like cell phone, etc. I saw him enter his ipod touch pswd last night so I will be able to check that now.)
Daily I have been working on the following: trying to delay dinner so we eat as a family asking him about his day seeking him out to say goodnight with a kiss.
Also, I offered to make him hot choc after he hung the xmas lights, have watched tv in the family room while he played on computer (so we could be in the same room), woke him up after he has fallen asleep on couch to tell him to go to bed. Things that he said he missed me doing.
So here I start my complaining..... He never asks about my day (sometimes asks DD how was school/day but not always) – does he not have any interest on what I do during the day? Does not call to give approx time he will be home for dinner Last night H laid down in bed ( I was reading in bed), set his alarm and closed his eyes to go to sleep – not even a good night or kiss.
Was H's need to have R talk to gain some control as he was sensing my distance? For 2 days before, I had stopped talking to him unless it was related to kids, sent email to communicate with him, didn't acknowledge his presence in the house.
I have to say yesterday was a very crappy day. H was cranky, kids were irritable, and I was on verge of tears a few times. And I am starting to realize he was not sincere on his desire to work on our M. And that just brings me back to the possibility of OW. And then how can we work on M, if OW is in picture. So then I need to get a plan together to gather intel, so I have proof of OW for the I will not tolerate open marriage boundary talk... And my head spins around again.
