I have read here and I see a lot of you are doing things for when H returns so you will be different etc…
Don’t do this stuff for him, he will know that is why you are doing it. You have to make the changes for you. It is the only way.
Look in the mirror, reflect, see what you want to do differently. Then do it.
It was my teenage S who actually first suggested H was MLC. I have let him read and learn as much as I have about it once I was pretty sure what I was dealing with. Maybe you should try to just give the kids some general MLC info (at least the older ones). There is no need to tell them what happened to your H as a child (if they don’t know), what you think triggered it (if you do know). Just enough to help them understand.
As far as the detatching, it comes in stages for us. It is the way it is supposed to be. You and only you will know when you are detatched enough.
Just remember, this really is a marathon, can be the best thing that ever happened to you if you do the work, and there are no guarantees regarding the marriage. The only guarantee is that you will be better for this if you choose to.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
