WAW Using God

[pigskin]

Journaling:

The talk with the kids went well; they seemed to take it in stride and understand that mommy needs some quiet time alone to try to "get happy again".

W left today to live on her own. I helped her move stuff to the new place, and told her that I'll be there for her to help her in any way she needs. This is all under the assumption that no contact with OM takes place, which I told her was my only issue.

I can be as patient with her as humanly possible if the EA is broken off. I understand that she needs time alone, and hopefully she can sort out what she needs during this time. As long as there is no OM contact, I'm fine with the arrangement.

In the meantime, I'll be practicing LRT, no contact except for family business.

My pastor has been helpful, saying that God doesn't like the situation either and is doing all he can to help. However He can't make my W do anything, as we all have free will. He may not be able to save our marriage, but me standing up for the marriage and our family is the right thing to do.

We'll see where it goes from here. Watching her leave was hard, but mainly because I don't know what the outcome will be. If you told me it would be a few months and then she'll be back for the two of us to pick up the pieces, it would be a lot easier. But I have to focus on me and the kids in the meantime, and that's what I'm going to do.