So does that mean you would have had it if you had called Friday???!! How crazy is that! Anyway I am glad it went as well as it could. I am so proud of you and I bet your deeper voice didn't hurt! lol
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Yep, crazy isn't it? I had 1.5 hours to listen to my voice mail and call them it sounds like. And then the woman said something about you hadn't called this morning either (I stopped myself from telling her I was in court all day and had just gotten home that minute from my divorce hearing!) Geez.....Guess it wasn't meant to be....
Maybe you should have told her that. I don't think it could have hurt.
Nah, if it was a losing battle for not calling them back right away.....Play with them. Tell them you were at the proctologist and would have felt like a real ass using your cell phone during an exam.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
I had 1.5 hours to listen to my voice mail and call them it sounds like.
That was a pretty tight window to respond!
Quote:
I think I did my best. I feel a little guilt over being honest and having to say the negative stuff about X, but he did that stuff and it had to be done for me to have any chance for custody of the kids.
I'd say so.
And, Karen, I understand your feelings, but you need never be sorry or have any serious guilt about speaking the truth. In nearly any circumstance it is the best policy.
You made it through the fire. It should be smoother sailing from this point.
(I don't like it one whit that your STBX is chummy with the judge -- that could be grounds for a mistrial.)
I don't like it either, but he's been an L now for so long pretty much he's worked with and/or before all the judges around here.
I forgot: one of the factors is moral fitness, and my L brought up his incessant texting to OW in front of me and the kids. The judge said basically everybody that's married nowadays has affairs and texts their OP during a failing marriage. He said only if he and OW had been fornicating in a room next to the kids would he consider that! Like there is not much moral fitness anymore, I guess he's saying....
((((Karen)))) I know that it has to be such a relief to have it all over with. I'm sure awaiting the decision will be torture. How could they not think you're a great mother and role model? I'm sure the Karen we all love and care about came shining through.
Well, I'd say your judge has moral code about fornicating in a room next the children. The judge in the case of my sthbx ow's divorce apparently did not. She admitted to sneaking my stbxh in the house after her 8 year old son was in bed and having sex right across the hall from him. It did not seem to matter at all to the judge, everything went exactly her way as far as child custody and financial.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Yoyo, we were talking about it. The judge does lots of divorce cases, and it probably is usual for him to see lots of infidelity and texting of OW and all kinds of horrible stuff. Should that make it ok or right, though? I don't think so...
I think it did show to any unbiased person (hmmmm. don't know if the judge is that) what's going on. Something weird is the bailiff there was saying, we were talking after the hearing about that X had no witnesses to speak on his behalf, and no friends to support him there. I was saying well, he's got OW, but I guess he decided not to do that....I feel a little sad for him; I think he doesn't have as good a support system of sweet people like I do.
Weird, X seems so disliked by people for some reason. When he walked out of the building and left, my friends and I were there talking to the bailiff and the bailiff pretended like he was going to hit him in the butt with that security wand thing. (X didn't notice that thank goodness.) And then was laughing he just did that on videotape. He said if he doesn't pay his custody/support once they'll be all over him. (I live in a small town). Both bailiffs were super sweet to me, and the bailiff in our courtroom chamber of the hearing kept smiling at me like sympathetically or something.
I guess if it doesn't work out, I'm thinking of asking my L to appeal, but hopefully won't get to that!!!
NC, thanks for your words about not feeling guilt over speaking the truth. I know you are right. I wish I hadn't had to do that today, but I didn't have a choice. I'm just going to pray it's going to turn out all right; and it always eventually does. I heard so much good about the kids today, makes me feel good they will be fine no matter what.
Again, thanks to everyone here for your support! I don't know how people go through this stuff without support like we have here! I'm crying now, happy grateful tears though. And thanks Kat for calling me last night! You gave me the boost of support and confidence I think I needed. I even slept most of the night last night!!!
lol
