I'm new wondering if this works...

[TrentC]

The reason I did was I'm fearing physical abuse. It may not be so, but on two occasions, my H has hurt my son (by accident) yet denied that it happened. Last night, he was holding S firm to get jammies on, but when S's laughter turned to tears, H did not notice. This concerned me, and I was glad I was there to intervene. Last week, he picked up S to put him in his room for a time out, but he did it too strongly, by first slamming him down on the couch, and then when S said "owow" when H was grabbing him to put him in his room, H did not stop to see if S was really hurt or was trying to get attention.

If you're worried about abuse, then you need to get out now.

My mama bear instinct has kicked in lately where I am watching H like a hawk. Under normal circumstances, I agree, I should have stayed out of it.

Your mama bear instinct isn't up to speed yet, if you think you're going to catch your H abusing your son.

The consequence for the boundary was that I would leave the room. I did this.

So in other words, there was no real consequence, because he did exactly what I would expect he'd do; follow you. A real consequence would be:

"If you cannot speak to me in a decent, repsectful tone of voice, I will take our son and find someplace else to stay while I file for divorce."

I do have a lock, but when I have locked it in the past, H gets more upset and has not only banged on door, he picks it open anyhow.

So your husband has so little respect for you that he won't give you the courtesy of temporary privacy?

Enough is enough. You need to leave.

I am working on my self esteem and seeing the abuse for what it is. It is very confusing for me as I see many things I do wrong too. But through IC and the help of this forum, I have started becoming more aware of the eomtional abuse. I am still figuring out how to deal with it, if at all.

Step one: LEAVE. It's a lot harder for him to be abusive towards you or your son if neither of you are there.

We did start in MC today. I brought this up and H seemed to soften slightly and hear the MC where he usually won't hear me. I hope this can work.

Abusers are very good at hiding their true feelings and attitudes from others. He'll put up a good front for the MC then go back to his old tricks.