h is in mlc, now threatening divorce...

[TrentC]

how do you go from thinking of coming home to filing for divorce after the 1st of the year???

Don't know. And you're spending too much time trying to justify or rationalize his behavior.

You may never know the answers to these questions, at least not until he's ready to open up to you.

from what u are saying he is trying to justify that? thats he is hurting over his poor decisions?

Or hurting is causing him to make poor decisions, yes.

all i can do right now is hold back tears in front of the girls...im crushed, though it was getting better...

This is not a battle that will be won in days; more like weeks or months.

You need to focus on yourself for now. If nothing else, he may come to see you as one less source of stress in his life. That may be enough to reopen that door.