THx Trent!~- yes, I should have not gotten involved. The reason I did was I'm fearing physical abuse. It may not be so, but on two occasions, my H has hurt my son (by accident) yet denied that it happened. Last night, he was holding S firm to get jammies on, but when S's laughter turned to tears, H did not notice. This concerned me, and I was glad I was there to intervene. Last week, he picked up S to put him in his room for a time out, but he did it too strongly, by first slamming him down on the couch, and then when S said "owow" when H was grabbing him to put him in his room, H did not stop to see if S was really hurt or was trying to get attention.
My mama bear instinct has kicked in lately where I am watching H like a hawk. Under normal circumstances, I agree, I should have stayed out of it.
The consequence for the boundary was that I would leave the room. I did this. I do have a lock, but when I have locked it in the past, H gets more upset and has not only banged on door, he picks it open anyhow. Often I do leave the house as a boundary, but this morning I was in pajamas and awake for only ten minutes. I was in shock.
I am working on my self esteem and seeing the abuse for what it is. It is very confusing for me as I see many things I do wrong too. But through IC and the help of this forum, I have started becoming more aware of the eomtional abuse. I am still figuring out how to deal with it, if at all. I am also trying to protect S from it - which means I do most of the parenting. I simply step in because I do not want my child yelled at, grabbed to firmly, or unfairly disciplined. However, it's a fine line because I don't want to do things that will escalate the abuse and arguing - for S's sake.
We did start in MC today. I brought this up and H seemed to soften slightly and hear the MC where he usually won't hear me. I hope this can work.
