As for your h going around town telling people that you are "not an item any longer". I suspect he only pipes up and tells someone if they should ask. Your h has been gone long enough not to be out there shouting it from the roof tops.
As for him ruining the day.....no.....you allowed the gossip to do this for you. You've got to learn to listen with one ear and allow that crap to go out the other. It's a small town and you are going to have to toughen up because you are going to hear more and more of this after you are divorced. You cannot allow this type of stuff to ruin your day or the holidays. You are the one that is blessed, i.e., you have your family, friends and co-workers that are there for you. You are still living in your home and your health is okay.
Your h, on the other hand, has absolutely nothing in the way of friends, etc. His health most likely isn't the best right now, but that's his fault, not yours. His life is/has gone done the toilet in so many ways that it's not even funny. He's the hamster on the wheel that is constantly spinning.
Let him go. Don't get sucked into the drama and above all else...gossip is gossip and you have to let that roll off your back. Keep the focus on you, your family and the holidays. Try to stay positive.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
