Don't worry - yeah I am wondering sometimes why I still want him. I am much calmer today - he is such an idiot sometimes - I know he is worried about his job - this is going on for months - he is under constant thread that he could lose his job - I know it'd hard for him - he could just talk to me though instead of blaming me for everything under the sun. And I wish I could let this suspicion of him having had an affair back in March/April go but I just can't. Friends tell me maybe he just thought about it but didn't actually do it and then I tell them the following:
The first time he came home after he told me how unhappy he was he went out one night and came home drunk - we had sex that night - I am having very cold feet - always had and he used to call me his "reptile" - anyway my feet brushed his leg and he said: what is it with you women and cold feet? I froze for for one second I remember and I have never forgotten that comment - I actually think it was the only moment he might have slipped - but I could be wrong.He pretends not to remember anything from that night and I never mentioned that comment but it keeps me going when I am doubting myself to find the truth. It sounded like he was comparing me to someone and it sounded recent.
