Thanks Coach. I can't seem quick enough to think and say something like that. To me that is the nuances I mentioned. I've got to remember that.
Yes PDT I wasn't going to do anything more than sign it with my name.
I haven't read either of your threads. Can you tell me where you are at in the process. Did either of you hear the dreaded I'm done, are you physically seperated? Thanks for your insights.
Getting better at being upbeat around her. On Sundays I play soccer with a group of people. Just pick up games for whoever shoes up. Been doing this for around 2 years now. Good people, good times. Range in age from 14 to 59 that play at times. Our kids sometimes play.
Today I had my son for the afternoon and we went. After I dropped him off at her place. She actually invited me in to see their tree. First time she has invited me in. I went in said nice looked around at some stuff real quick and then I said well I gotta go. Have a good night.
Her mom and her aunt visited the last few days so maybe that made a difference. I don't know.
The OM from out of town was here again for a night during the week this week. She tells women friends that we both know that they are just friends. Yeah right.
Are there any WAS's who left and had OPs regret it and reconcile that are on the boards? Would like to read their threads.
I've noticed on a lot of posts that you bring up the 5LLs a lot. Here is my question. My W's LLs are physical touch and quality time. How do I accomplish that when we are together? I mentioned the hug request at mediation by her. Your thoughts on that?
I've noticed on a lot of posts that you bring up the 5LLs a lot. Here is my question. My W's LLs are physical touch and quality time. How do I accomplish that when we are together? I mentioned the hug request at mediation by her. Your thoughts on that?
Hmm... that is tricky, given the likelihood of an affair.
I don't think there is anything wrong with showing some simple affection, and it sounds like something that can be used to fill that love bank. You could give her a hug, then smile and walk away; no pressure on either of you for it to mean more.
Last edited by TrentC; 12/07/0905:51 PM. Reason: Thought about it some more
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I've noticed on a lot of posts that you bring up the 5LLs a lot. Here is my question. My W's LLs are physical touch and quality time. How do I accomplish that when we are together? I mentioned the hug request at mediation by her. Your thoughts on that?
Women don't love men they can't respect. Before you can fill her emotional needs you must get her respect back. You get her respect back by stating and enforcing the boundaries regarding the OM.
I would be very affectionate (PT) and do lots of things with your kids (QT). She will notice that you are loving on them, this is attractive. You start re-introducing the LLs when she becomes your friend again - no OM. Put her on a cake fast.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
At this point what can the boundaries be regarding the OM? We are seperated physically and have started with mediation for legal seperation?
I can't really think of any boundaries here?
If you are still around. Let me ask this for a nuance. Just a little while ago she texted a request for two changes to our custody plan (temporary) one for our son who has a chance to do something Wednesday night when I would have him and then for the weekend where she just realized her running race is Saturday morning and would I like our son Friday night as well as Saturday. I made a change last week for her because her mother came to town and it was a chance for our son to spend time with his grandma?
I'm curious on how you would respond on that or anyone else?
Check and check on pt and qt with my son. Already doing that because I realize those might be his "love languages", plus I do mine with him as well.
Still have the open question on her recent text. My thought on this is that my son has an oportunity to do something so I don't mind and I will get him a different night. It is the race thing that I'm unusre about. W and I just discussed which night next weekend I will have him and agreed on Saturday. Anyone?
If you are still around. Let me ask this for a nuance. Just a little while ago she texted a request for two changes to our custody plan (temporary) one for our son who has a chance to do something Wednesday night when I would have him and then for the weekend where she just realized her running race is Saturday morning and would I like our son Friday night as well as Saturday. I made a change last week for her because her mother came to town and it was a chance for our son to spend time with his grandma?
I'm curious on how you would respond on that or anyone else?
If it's good for your son then what's the harm? If it's just to make her life easier then say "No, I can't do that I already have plans." Don't rescue her from the reality of this.
Get more mysterious. Your boundary now take care of yourself and you son. She doesn't deserve favors or your attention.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
