Well, made it through Thanksgiving. D4 has still been sick. Had to take her back to the doc. Had strep now on top of the still infected ears. So, more for ex to get mad about the dr. money. lol. I looked at my acct today and wondered why I was so broke. That little 450.00 or so for doc visits and meds has not helped in the last 2 weeks. Imagine what he would say if he was the one that had to take her and pay. Yep, that's with insurance. We have a high per person deductible and it sucks.
I am trying so hard not to argue with him when we talk, but his behavior and the stupid stuff he says just is so irritating. I am seriously trying to limit my contact. His favorite thing to talk about and whine about is if I'm seeing someone, who, etc.etc. That just still cracks me up since he's had the og for a year. It is comical and really irritates me at the same time. I told him last night that none of that needs to be brought up when we talk since it has nothing to do with the kids.
Christmas is going to be tricky. I'm letting him have them Christmas Eve at his mom's house, because that's when they do their family gifts and things. Then we had planned for him to come to my house Christmas morning to watch them open their Santa gifts. I wouldn't have a problem with that if there wouldn't be any drama. I just don't know.
Most of Thanksgiving all he could do is complain about us not being able to do things as a "family" and how much he missed it. However, he never did do anything to make that happen. Still will say that out of one side of his mouth (loves me, wants the family, etc. etc.) and turn around and whine to og about me and profess his love for her the next minute. That behavior still totally perplexes me.
Anyway, the craziness still continues. I try not to play the game as much as possible, but I sometimes allow myself to get mad and sucked into the drama. He crazy two faced behavior just makes me mad and all I want him to do is stop the games and be honest so that we can have a civil relationship and parent the kids. I know, I know. Asking a lot.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
I would just tell him that until he can prove that tinkerbell is gone and that he has changed, there is nothing more to discuss unless it directly has to do with the kids and leave it at that.
I sent you and everyone else an invite to dinner this coming Tuesday night. I know money is tight from what you just posted, so if that is the only thing that would stand in your way, I would be happy to pick up dinner if it will make a difference in you coming and joining us.
Let me know,
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Hey Kevin! Thanks so much for the invite! Unfortunately on Tuesday night I will have my kiddos, so I don't think everyone would be up for that!! LOL. Money is tight, but I am making it. You are so sweet to offer to get dinner though. I hope we can all make it some night! I have a really long stretch after Christmas where the kids will be gone. Maybe we could do something possibly then?
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
I will plan another dinner in January for everyone.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Well, let's see. Update. Haven't been posting much due to LIFE! Ex is still deep in the craziness. Still no job. Still owes me $$$ and getting deeper. He seems fine with being unemployed and sitting around or going camping and hunting with relatives and tinkerbell. She also has no job, so they have lots of time.
He has not yet started any type of counseling or the anger mangement that was court ordered b/c of the assault and protective order. The only reason we dismissed the PO was b/c he was ordered to go through this counseling. I'm trying to figure out who to talk to about him not following through on that.
He is becoming toxic to my children and traumatizes them when they are with him. Constantly yelling and screaming and acting crazy. Also doesn't watch them properly, like letting my 4yo jump on a large trampoline with no nets or anything UNSUPERVISED outside, and letting my 9yo shoot bb guns UNSUPERVISED. They eat crap and only crap while there. My son has told me that his dad is "crazy" and that's just the way he is. He threw such a fit and made such a scene with them this past weekend it was awful. My S had an accident Sat. night while sleeping which he NEVER does, he's 9. I told ex he was stressing them out and causing emotional distress. He truly doesn't care. He badmouths me all the time and tells them crap that is totally untrue. He told them last weekend that they might never see him again. They have both mentioned that several times to me.
I have to figure out what to do from here. I don't really have any concrete evidence of what is considered "abuse" by the courts. Just emotional trauma. It's a hard call. I don't want to drag them through a huge horrible battle, but he is not good for them right now. I just don't know what to do.
I know that I am VERY uncomfortable with the facty that they have to spend 11 days with him after Christmas.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
He told them last weekend that they might never see him again.
Why is he telling the kids this? Is there any truth to it? Would it be by his choice to never see them again or by a judges? I guess I am confused as to his reasoning for making this statement to them.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I have no idea. No, it would not be by a judge. We have no court case going right now. He tells them this because he is trying to get back at me, and he doesn't care who he hurts in the process. Everytime he gets in this crazy state he lashes out in a way that will hurt the kids. He has threatened to not let S go to his championship soccer game, birthday parties, etc. etc. if I don't do what he wants.
I think that he thinks the only way to hurt me now is through the kids, that I don't really care about what he says to me/about me. AND, that is true. The only thing I care about in this whole thing with him now is my kids. AND he knows that is what I will fight with him about, because I can't stand to see him hurt them. I honestly don't think he even CARES how he makes them feel.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
I have no answer for why he is choosing to act that way. It is pure manipulation, but why to the extent of affecting the kids is what I don't get. He is killing his image for them. They will figure it out the older they get and he will really regret this. Makes no sense.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Yes. My son already sees straight through his crap, and he's only 9. He has said to me several times that his dad is "crazy". Ex is digging his own hole on that one, with no help from me whatsoever.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
How are you doing in general? Are you getting out any? Doing anything special with the kids or for yourself? Are there any positives going on for you right now? How is the teaching going?
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
