I am going to say I am not wading through 1,374 posts to accurately find out why you don't like 'our house'. I am going to assume that it is because she had sex with OM there, or that you fought aloth there, or that she got it in the divorce...but I'd rather you tell me why.
If you both don't want that house, then yes move. However...piecing is a fine line between boundaries and bending. Some boundaries cannot be crossed, and somthings you think are boundaries are not.
If selling the house is impractical...it is impractical and should not be an obstacle in your piecing. Basically, get over it if you can.
When my wife had her own apartment...where yes she fukced the OM, it took awhile to get over that, but I started replacing in my mind those memories with our own new ones. In every room in fact, except the boys rooms, because well...ick man. When we talked about getting a new palce together hers actually was an option.
The fear of the OM. Dude you are going to be worried about that alot. Remeber when you first got here, everyone said, "Time" Well yeah, with time this too will pass. Hell I still think about it...maybe once every couple of months. But my wife has been completely honest and I know it is just the fear that my own head produces.
If you wife is being transparent, then you need to be able to kill that fear in your own head all by yourself. Now, you should also tell her this, and let her know that at times you are going to need reassurance, but with time and trust those times you need her reassurance will become fewer and fewer.
Last, verify that your trust is not misplaced. If she wants this she should be willing and understanding that you are going to need to verify her words and deeds. I let my wife know I would check up on her, that I would be looking at her phone until I felt secure. She understood this.
Your 12 year old son...man that OM was a smart muther...crafty. Be the best dad that you can be. Your relationship with their mother is just as important as your relationship with them. And a good mother is going to find that just as attractive as her favorite colonge on you.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
