Let go, stop making your choices contingent on what XH may or may not do, and make a great life for yourself.
The last two parts of this I have down (it is only the recent question of friendship that I was contemplating, and I can clearly see that I am not ready/strong enough for that).
Let go... what exactly does that mean? It isn't Stop missing him and the old marriage. It isn't Stop loving him.
What is it, then? Being happy that he is happy, wishing him well in his life while I go about mine? Being unaffected by anything he says or does? (How do you do that if you still love and miss someone? - just pretend and don't say anything?)
So many times I have thought I Let Go, only to find myself back here from time to time.
Funny thing is, I am sure that I Let Go of my sister. She makes contact when she is comfortable, and I am always happy to hear from her; I don't take it personally if long stretches of time go between. She has at times lashed out at me, and I try to understand and forgive. I love her and always will. But her absence doesn't have me in this state...no one and nothing's absence has ever had me like this, and I have lost both my parents young.
