I don't know what else the Alanon group can do for me. I have no interest in more drama in my life, and it became a source of drama (my sponsor being an adulteress, and a woman I became friendly with freaked out on me when I withdrew for a while, took it personally).
I read the materials... 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (or codependence)—that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
I try to work the program. The powerlessness is hard... The struggle between DB influence and leaving others to their own choices.
I recognize the selfishness in wishing that ex would see what happened and how much I loved him and would have worked on it... I want him to be happy. I just hoped so much that it had been with me.
