He has never lost you, he hasn't felt that because he hasn't. You have been drenched in the pain. The only way to get past that is to take back your life, take back the power he holds over you. Don't make choices based on what affect it may or may not have on him but only what affect it will have on you and/or the kids.

He has moved on and you have to decide if you want to sit around waiting and being in a constant state of pain hoping he will come back or do you want to create a life where you can find your inner happiness without thought of the past?

hugs, kat

Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory