Spouse Suffering From Depression

[Lucky11too]

So the weekend was very fun for me but very bad with H. For me, on Saturday. I took S to this little local craft fair that has a little petting zoo and everything - it was just fun. Then that night, I went out with my girlfriends for a nice dinner for my friend's birthday. On Sunday, my inlaws were throwing a family and friends christmas party at the sports bar my FIL partially owns, that H manages at, and that OW works...yeah, I'm sure you can see where this is going. I decided to go b/c I wasn't going to let OW bully me into missing MY family's holiday party, besides, I figured they wouldn't have her working...but when I got there, she was!!! (H was working too). Just in case, I made sure I looked good! (and I totally did). I got this super cute dress and everyone commented on how nice I looked. I walked in with my head held high with confidence looking awesom and knowing that yes, she was working for me that night (luckily she wasn't our actual waitress, but she did have to help clean up our party as I sat talking and laughing with all of H's family). I felt a little uncomfortable with the whole thing, but I sure wan't going to let on about that. As much as I wanted to tell her off, I wasn't going to stoop to her trashy level and really, what good what do, you know? We had two passes with each other. The first was when I went to the bathroom and she was coming the opposite direction, so we had to squeeze by each other. I just completely ignored her. The 2nd when was we were leaving (I'll explain below). But going back to H - he was rude, cold, and standoffish. He never once commemted on how nice I looked (even when one of his cousins in front of him to see his reponse said "I love your dress! You look so sexy! haha, thanks cousin). Also, when I walked in (before I knew OW was there), I gave him a hello hug, and I got a little half pat back. Really? We've been sharing intimacy and you can't even give me a hug now? Let's see, what else - he came over and sat by me for maybe 5 minutes while he ate his dinner. I touched his leg and gave him a little shoulder rub and he just sat there so cold. He asked if I saw "my friend" (OW) and I said "yes, but it was fine b/c I was prettier, smarter, and sexier than her". He says yes, but that she "didn't leave me, lose my dogs, and take my son". Jerk! Is he a broken record or what! I didn't respond and if made one more comment about that, I was going to stand up and leave. But that was it, but he succeeded in pissing me off (but I didn't let him on to that).

Then it was time to leave and I walked out with his parents and said goodbye to H, who was standing behind the front desk. (this part gets iffy). He started coming around the desk so I thought he wanted to give me a hug goodbye. I turn around and OW is walking out to leave too, so now I don't know if he's coming out to say goodbye to me or walking her out (he was to walk all the servers out to the parking lot for safty reasons). That moment was super ackward. I like face to face with OW and neither one of us would acknowledge the other. So anyways, i met up with H first and start walking out with him with OW trailing right behind us. He's just cold and quiet. We get to the parking lot and I give H a quick hug (and get a half pat again) and OW is walking the other way and says "bye" to H and doesn't say anything back to her.

Well, I know that's a lot for one night, but I just had to get it out. I was so upset by it. After everything we've been thru and his continuous professions that nothing is or has gone on between them, couldn't he give me a little comfort by being a little more affectionate to me in front of her. Whether he meant it that way or not, it all came off as if he doesn't like me much and wants nothing to do with me. Then fine! Live your own life! But don't come trying to be apart of my life one day and then be a complete jerk and want nothing to do with me the next (especially in front of OW and his other co-worker friends who are always in his ear telling him to leave me). So yeah, pretty pisted off right now.

So this is my question - what do I do now. I have been trying to keep from getting into an argument right now b/c his brain results are on Friday. I know I'll have some direction on Friday on which way we are going - he'll either be into it or not. If he is, I'm willing to stick it out as he works on himself. If not, it's time for me to realize that nothing is going to change with him and will need to start moving forward with my life without him.

Oh this is good. I guess H texts me about the rain this morning and i didn't see the text (that a good thing). Then an hour later I get a "hello" text. (I still don't have my phone with me). Then right now I get a call from H "to make sure I'm ok" and wanting to know if I want to do lunch? I don't even know what to say. Are you serious. Do you not get how you treated me last night? I'm almost curiuos to hear what he has to say ("his excuses"). I don't know what to do with H. I'm just looking forward to getting thru Friday so I can move on with my life...