Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[Coach]

Three simple rules for my team (I heard John Madden say he used them so I borrowed them):

- Show up on time ready to play

- Pay attention, ask questions

- Hustle, never quit

I am scared of what I am going to learn.

Is an affair a deal-breaker for you?

[SoldierDad]

Coach, I've said no to it being a deal breaker before but, after what happened this weekend with my boys, I'm not sure. I am still hurt by what she did. It hurts more than anything I have ever gone through. I dunno, I'm really not in the mindset right now, to be able to make that important decision right now-if that even makes sense. I think once I see proof/evidence, my stance may change, but right now, I just can't answer it. With what you say, that this behavior is temporary, should I have any expectations about anything over the next 3 months? I guess that depends on what the PI gives me. Coach, I am willing to work, I have worked so hard for everything I have-including 21 years in the greatest Army in the world. I will hustle. I will do what I have to. Thanks.

[SoldierDad]

Coach, I am trainable-I promise you. Guide me. Teach me. Mentor me. I will give 110% to the cause.

[Coach]

Use your military training.

Objective:

Possible scenarios (what ifs):

Plan of action:

Re-evaluate:

Always have a fall-back position if you get overwhelmed.

Understand the biggest threat to you is Emo Ops (Emotional Operations) just made that one up. She's going to lob "hurt" grenades and "spew" artillery. These things can only hurt you if you let them. Her words and irrational behavior are powerless over you. Step back and observe for a second. She's shooting spitballs against timeless values - strength, honor, love, commitment, duty, and fidelity.

She knows she is screwing up, she just can't admit it. Go read what Sandi wrote on Thinkers thread. To justify her actions she gets even more rebellious. She would be happy if it weren't for you. She thinks that if she removes you from her life she will be happy. You have the opportunity to lead and show her that we each are responsible for our own happiness. Be that Army of one, you are uniqueley qualified, prepared and capable of handling the threat.

I went to college at The Citadel, all my Air Force leadership, planning, field/flight training, my coaching and business experiences all helped me. Once you detach - let go of the outcome- then it's easier to handle your emotions.

Cheers
Coach

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Great post, Coach. I would also highly recommend that SoldierDad find -- and read -- (oh god, now i can't remember his DB username, only his alt. name -- the guy with the next-door neighbors that you know so well???). His is as strong and well-documented of a sitch as I have ever read on here of learning to go from a co-depending, "pleasing" behavior to one of a strong, principled, "strength and honor" one.

Puppy

[Coach]

Puppy, Your thinking of Mules. I'll get him to weigh in here.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Yeah, that's it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, Mules, for the "almost-50" moment there. I just really think you could help our friend SD here.

Coach, do you have a "mule" overlay for the BatPuppyLight?

Puppy

[SoldierDad]

Ok, just got a strange e-mail from W. "H, S12 and S15 really wants to be at the airport could you let me know your info so I can have them there." This is fishy as I already told her I wouldn't know my flight info until Friday my time. Makes me think that she is going to have me served at airport like she said she was. I will wait until tomorrow to respond back to her, my same answer, I can tell you on friday. Thoughts?

[Coach]

"great, can't wait to see the boys! I'll get the flight info to them when I get it."

don't worry about what she might do just be prepared.

FEAR
False Evidence Appearing Real

[TrentC]

Ok, just got a strange e-mail from W. "H, S12 and S15 really wants to be at the airport could you let me know your info so I can have them there." This is fishy as I already told her I wouldn't know my flight info until Friday my time. Makes me think that she is going to have me served at airport like she said she was. I will wait until tomorrow to respond back to her, my same answer, I can tell you on friday. Thoughts?

If she wants to have you served with divorce papers, she'll tell them when and where they can find you. I can understand not wanting to walk off the plane and into that, but you won't be able to avoid it forever.

Also, being served is not the end of the road; it's a declaration of hostilities.