Great post, Coach. I would also highly recommend that SoldierDad find -- and read -- (oh god, now i can't remember his DB username, only his alt. name -- the guy with the next-door neighbors that you know so well???). His is as strong and well-documented of a sitch as I have ever read on here of learning to go from a co-depending, "pleasing" behavior to one of a strong, principled, "strength and honor" one.
