I received a letter from the child support enforcement today - Haven't read it yet since I am still at work but I have finally heard from them (will post later about contents).
I closed the family cell account (no notice to H either) and opened a new one for my S and I with a different provider. (It is one of his Christmas presents)
Was able to beat H to the bank today so I have some money. (finally)
All in all a better day then yesterday
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
A song to give you comfort for the future (Bright Morning Star) by my favorite singer-songwriter, Mary Chapin Carpenter. This site sells MP3s, so in the beginning, they often interrupt the song and ask you if you want to buy it. They give you the option of listening once for free. Click on that. I think all in all they give you 22 free plays.
No lyrics, but it's very clear.
Three songs on this CD (The Calling) helped me through this long process:
1) Closer and Closer Apart - Grieving (a heartbreaking song) 2) Here I Am - DBing 3) Bright Morning Star - Where I am now/Where I'm headed.
Serenity to you, Serenity.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
No, no, no. No sad songs for Serenity. I sent her a hopeful one: Bright Morning Star.
I also mentioned two others by the same artist that helped me in the beginning. One of those was sad. But not Bright Morning Star. Bright Morning Star is where we are (she is) headed. Where we all will arrive at the end of our sitches
Last edited by Gardener; 12/07/0903:19 AM.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I haven't been on all weekend so I will check the songs out shortly Gardener -
Luv I will also check out the one you mentioned...
Had a nice weekend...Didn't really do anything other then hang out with the boys and then Church yesterday.
My family decorated for the holidays however my heart isn't in it so I just avoided that scene.
I have been thinking and realized that my H opened "that" door almost 9 months ago and now at this point in time, I am unsure if we can ever close it...
The CS letter was letting me know they needed oldest S birth certificate and since he was born out of this state, that will take some time which just extends the time when I need H to be financially forthcoming for his children.
I spoke to my MIL the other day and let her know I was thinking of hiring a lawyer after the new year (I have seen a lawyer just don't have one on hand)...
While she understands, she doesn't want me to make any rash decisions and she hates for me to think about going against my beliefs, however I am leaning towards the fact that I'd rather risk making some wrong decisions in life rather than making no decisions, living in limbo and expecting what somebody else does or doesn't do to determine the outcome of my life.
I am unsure if I can just move forward without filing - To me (regardless of what I believe), his actions show he is willing to leave things as they are just to continue to be the good guy.
I am still waiting for the strength within to let me know what I need to do - It will come and until it does, I will continue to take my baby steps out into the world.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
here's a good "Here I Am" song...by David Morales it was in movie "devil wears prada"
now that's a song to listen to
google lyrics - one of Luv's FAVORITE songs!
Crank up Lenny Kravitz - "Bring it On"
I'm gonna walk by faith Gonna raise my sword I'm gonna fight my battle I'm gonna praise my Lord
It's getting heavy But I'm ready To take on this world and rock steady So come on, bring it on
I'm gonna face my demons Gonna tear them down I'm gonna keep on moving Gonna make my sound
It's getting heavy But I'm ready To take on this world and rock steady So come on, bring it on
Bring it on Oh bring it on Bring it on Oh bring it on
Bring it on Oh bring it on Bring it on Oh bring it on...
My DB theme song and fun to play the drums on.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
at work...