Can I save my marriage?

[TrentC]

You didn't believe he was even having an affair until someone told you he was; when you tried to investigate, you were reassured that there was no way he could be having an affair, and now you seem to be okay with the idea that the affair (that wasn't happening, mind you) is done with.

I'm coming back to this because I want to finish my thought.

Britt, everyone has been saying for weeks that there are signs that your H is (or was) having an affair. You've not wanted to believe it -- which is perfectly normal and understandable -- but now you have at least one account that there is/was an A going on.

So now, while you are relatively calm and collected, you have to make a decision.

This is Act As If turned on its head: what does your husband having an affair do to the future of your relationship?

How do you feel, "knowing" that your husband has slept with another woman? Is it something that you can forgive? If so, what do you need from him to rebuild your trust in him? (We're back to setting boundaries and requiring transparency again.)

Now is a good time to let those feelings come now, so you can start working through them; that way, if and when he does drop the EA/PA bomb, you can respond coolly and confidently.