Didn't have time to get all caught up with you, but remembered today is your 'big day' and just wanted to shoot some support your way.
Remeber, just as bad as your L is going to try and paint him 'super-bad', his will do the same, don't take it to heart, it's all part of the "game" like I said before, everybody is going to overstate things, but in the end result, you'll be somewhere in the middle.
Best wishes,
dylan
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Stay focused. Keep your answers short and to the point. You can do this. Just remember that this will affect the next few years and will set the tone for that time. I know that seems like more pressure but I think that will keep you on point. I will try to channel myself right there with you.
Just remember you are not alone. You are going to do fine.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Almost done according to my calculations. Hope you felt my patting your hand throughout! Sorry I have been busy and my thoughts have had to be everywhere. Let me know how you are doing.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
IT'S OVER!!! Well at least the court stuff. It went well I think. Turns out X is a friend of the judge, they've been practicing L's in the same town for many years. He said it wouldn't affect his ruling though (hope that's true).
They have 15 or so factors they are supposed to look at, when deciding custody, and X had one factor; his geographic location is closer to the kids' schools than I. Although he has them ride the bus and I am willing to drive them, so don't see that should be a huge factor in custody. My L brought up all 12 or 13 factors that we had in our case, to me the biggest being that he's been uninvolved the 15 years before this last 3 months of involvement. When his L was questioning me he asked me and said something about how because of homeschooling X couldn't be involved with the kids (which X admitted to not being involved prior to September of this year when the kids started school. I jumped in and said well with homeschooling you should be able to spend more time with the kids than public school as your schedule is more flexible and you can have vacations whenever, etc..
My L said I did an A+ job and sounded totally amazed. She expected me to suck. Yesterday she asked me a couple sample ?s and I just said uh, uh, hmm & choked. But it was good b/c I thought about it a bit overnight and this am, so I was able to do a good job. I was honest and brought forth all the stuff you guys all know. X offered zero defense to his cussing me out at the public school and pulling D10 out of the moving car. His whole defense/offense was pretty much about him living closer to the kids schools. His attorney didn't even bring up my depression, maybe b/c my L brought it up first? I was prepared for that, but didn't have to.
I had 2 witnesses that did a great job. They stayed there the whole time all 6 hours or whatever to support me, the pastor did also. Priceless-the one witness she asked him about how many events he's seen X at: taekwondo, belt testing, the art club my D10 does every week, Terrific Tuesday, and her soccer games. My friend said I don't think I've ever seen him, I don't know which man he is in the room (either my X or his L). They both said super sweet things about me. I think it was pretty obvious to me the whole financial motivation, and the only thing that concerns me is the friendship b/w the judge and my X.
Then I called the job back to find out about the $34,000 job that called Fri. afternoon, and she said they may have filled all the positions Friday!! She said she'd call back if they had any left?! What a day!
But it's over, and I'm actually feeling fine. I cried about 5 minutes for some strange reason in the car, more over sadness about having a failed marriage than mourning anything we've had in the past 4 years or whatever, and for the kids maybe. But once I got there I was fine, when he said the M was irretrievably broken, it wasn't too bad, and I said the same.
Thanks everyone for all your prayers & support. I think that must have been what helped me be so confident, strong, and everything. I think I did my best. I feel a little guilt over being honest and having to say the negative stuff about X, but he did that stuff and it had to be done for me to have any chance for custody of the kids.
So just about to submit this, and I just got a call from Guardian Ad Litem for an OPS secretary job, so no health benefits, but I set an interview up for Thursday at 9:00am.
