Tired of the game

[mishka422]

(((((((((Julia)))))))))

You sound like you are handling all of this very well and why shouldn't you? You've built quite a good life for yourself out of all the pieces.

Accountability partners are so important in goal setting, especially in fitness. Having a healthy fear of your sister can't hurt either!! She'll keep you on track.

[JCJ]

Hey Mishka

Well, yes and no to handling it well I think. I do have a very good life, I am still lonely at times but generally ok. I cannot wait to get away for a while though however!

This morning I woke up really panicked at my decision. It feels like a scary leap as it is a risk. But then I keep telling myself that the worst that can happen is that we will get divorced and we will not see each other again. Well, we are getting divorced and the thought of seeing him makes me ill so in fact it is win- win. Apart from those facts make me very sad.

I'm sure it will pass...

[MichelleLT]

Indeed it will. With time.

Give it time.

[AliSuddenly]

I see it that you have to protect yourself. You 'left the door open' all year, and all that happened was you continued to feel that forgotton about whilst he carried on seeing ow. I heard that the WAS never is reachable until they finish with ow anyway, so I dont think you are losing, or risking anything by this action. And your holiday away is coming up real quick isnt it !!
xxx

[JCJ]

Oh, I can't wait to get away. I am feeling awful about things today. It didn't help that I dreamt about it last night. I just ended up having a little cry in my office which will probably help seeing as I never cry alone about it. It is the n/c and the divorce. I just never dreamed that when I married him I'd be here. I know no one does but it is just really raw at the moment.

The thought of him and her is just eating me too. I know not to focus on that etc but for some reason right now I can't seem to help it.

[mishka422]

(((((((((((Julia))))))))))))))

Our minds are our worst enemies.

Try to put logic to it. Why would you ever see them together? You don't even see him alone so what would put you in the same situation where you would be faced with them together? Does that help? I'm not much good at getting the imagery out of my head but maybe thinking that way will help you.

Crying a little is good. It releases the emotions a little (like a pressure cooker) so it will help.

What is your departure date?

[JCJ]

I go on the 24th December. I have my Christmas day all planned out when I get to Singapore. It involves sleeping the morning away on a sun bed (in the shade!!) at a beachside bar and going for lunch at my brothers favourite restaurant and then watching the Christmas parade. I can't wait!

I feel quite down generally at the moment. Everyone seems to be in a bad mood at work, I had some sad family news at the weekend and I am really missing H. It is taking all my strength not to contact him but I am determined not to. If he wants to see me he needs to step up, however what I really want is a hug 'old style' with him. I know it isn't going to happen, but it doesn't stop me just sometimes wanting that.

I also have had a bit of guy confusion the past couple of weeks with this guy I had a thing with. But it is teaching me a lot about dating. Basically we had a really wonderful weekend together a few of weeks back, after which time he implied a 'friends with benefits' situation which I said no to. Friends or relationship but nothing in between. Since then he has text me everyday to tell me what he is up to etc and asking me how I am. I respond but never initiate, but I have no idea what he wants. I don't know whether to just pull right back or carry on.

Here is to escaping the world for just a little while.

[kat727]

Ummm, if you are interested, why not just ask him? No need to play games with it. Just bring up the conversation from a few weeks ago and ask if he has rethought the situation.

I know you are going to have an incredible time soon. Focus on that and not the grumps at work. I think everything should just close down for a week or so and everyone can recharge their personl batteries! lol

kat

[JCJ]

Hey Kat,

I don't know, it feels wrong to have a relationship talk at the moment as he made his feelings pretty clear a few weeks back. I just am not sure why a guy would be so attentive if all he wanted is friends. I thought maybe about seeing how things go after I get back. After all I may as well take advantage of going away and being single but his behaviour confuses me.

It is so weird after being in LRT for so long to then switch to dating mode, especially as I thought I would never have to do it again!

[kat727]

Believe me I know! But if it is confusing you, it would help clear things up. Did he say well then we will be friends? That sort of stuff drives me crazy! Really it isn't easier to take when you are 45.

kat