Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

I would imagine that exh lack of selfworth is not because of SO2, unless of course she was a wife, like the one I explained above, always complaining and talking bad...but I don't think that. My opinion is that SO2 was selfconsious herself. Because, SO2, of how you are with exh these last years, and I could be wrong.. I have always sensed that you didn't have confidence in yourself and didn't truly love yourself, and these things can be detrimental on a M too. I know, because that was me. Because you have struggled with keeping your focus off of exh, I sense that at some point in your M, you lost your confidence. Now, perhaps it was because exh was mean to you, or never complimented you, but WE still get to choose how we react to those issues. In my own experience, that was me, never getting complimented, feeling unloved (because WOA is my 5LL) and therefore losing self esteem and confidence and etc. Which in turn led H to believe he didn't love me anymore, and when the OW came into his life, it was easy to jump on board...literally. lol

I think you are right on ST with the self confidence. It has been shattered in the past few years. I wasn't a complainer at all with exh, in fact I sat back and watched alot of stuff I shouldn't have with him for a long time. Things were fine then....but when I started speaking my mind about his drinking and putting up some boundaries he didn't like it and that is when he looked elsewhere. If you guys remember OW finally approached me last March and did the big sobbing apology to me. Well one of the things she said was things were ok with her and exh UNTIL she started mentioning his drinking and how it seems out of control and he immediately started pulling away from her. Within a month she caught him cheating. OW and exh was a good type of relationship for exh...she always had her kids so their time was sporadic at best. He likes to have his alone time to do whatever...maybe hide and drink, be a recluse, feel like crap about himself. I know exh hates who he is. When he was drinking he would always call himself a loser.

Ok, writing all of this is making me wonder what the heck I am thinking right now? I am looking at all the good things in him, but not the bad. Of course he is only coming around completely sober, saying and doing all the right things. I like this man! Who knows who he is after he drives away?