Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

I did ask him what he thought. Actually after we all left and went our separate ways I sent a text thanking him for coming and how much it meant to me. He said he liked it and it was nice. There were a few men he knew and they approached him and really welcomed him which was nice too. Oh, before the service started the pastor came to us and met exh. I think he sensed we were nervous and he calmly told exh what was going to happen and that was good for both of us.

I am trying not to have expectations. He did say a week or so ago that he liked how things were and he wanted to "do more things with us and see where it goes from there". Now being the control freak that I am, that statement bugged me. Its so non committal! Given our situation that we were married, we have a child together, and 5 other kids between us it would seem that to date causually and without a purpose or goal is sorta scary. Its almost like exh has an out if he needs, or an excuse to go another way. I would rather hear...i want to try. I want to make the commitment to try and see if we can put this back together. Maybe its just me.

Oh, and my daugher was looking at his fb page last night and he still has "in a relationship" as his status. Why? I know MGF would flip out if she saw it but so what? MGF also has a picture of he and her on her fb page and the same status. I know they haven't seen eachother and he is still giving her excuses..but the door is cracked open. But then again....with our non committal status what can I say? Nothing!

I also have to keep in the forefront of my mind the fact that unless some miracle has occured he is still drinking at the very least. If he hasn't seen MGF he hasn't done many pills.

Why does he have to be so charming? Why does he have to be saying and doing all the right things? It was much easier when he was obviously doing other things?