Divorced and want to reconcile...

[dday101798]

Hey mar,

Yes, things are going very well. I'm very happy, and very cautious at the same time, but overall, things look very positive. So, seeing how ugly things got between my XW and I, ANYBODY here has a second chance.

Anyway, when I say the use of "always" and "never", I didn't mean in your posts, I meant when talking to your XH. This is all straight out the book (of which I'll be re-reading here very soon to refresh myself of certain things). But, if you think about it, when things were 'headed south' for your sitch, which sounded better, or would sound better from your XH?:

"You always only think about yourself and never how I feel"

or

"I'm hurt and wish you could be more condierate of my feelings"

See what I'm saying here? And, I know there is almost what 2 pages regarding how to use the word, YOU. Sometime just the tone of how 'you' is said can be emotionally charged and backfire when you're trying to make a statement.

Seriously, I think this where you need the most work right now. Much the same as with my XW, our ability to communicate effectively deteriorated so baldy heading towards the end of the MR. Now, with a 'fresh start', we're back to finishing each other's sentences.