He is moody as hell all the time since the day I met him basically - he just called to get the boys jacket sizes( I texted them to him already weeks ago when he asked for it but anyway - bad memory - he had gotten great jackets 2 years ago abroad and I suggested to get new ones this X-Mas - but he said today that they are $600 together which is a lot - so I suggested something else and when we spoke a few minutes later about the X-Mas lists he said: but the boys have to cut down too (recession and all) - "hello, you are just thinking about to buy jackets for $600 and they have to cut down - what is wrong in this picture lol" the boys wishes don't even come close to that.Sometimes I think it makes a huge difference for him if he spends the money or we do.Anyway I am sure he is going to buy them...I rest my case...
Are you sure you want this boy, er man? LOL I am teasing. My WH is anal retentive and has other annoying habits but I still love him!
So you are more calm today? Keep up Plan A!
I saw your thread about the ILYBINILWY theory and you were right in my case. My WH said it within a few weeks after they sealed the deal at a romantic hotel on the coast that we never went to. He left in work clothes and came home in work clothes...We slept together the same week...he suggested I take a pregnancy test that same week. (He was right) I found out about the hotel 5 months later when looking through credit card statements. I only told my IC about it and told WH in July. (He thought he could hide it from me) Sorry to vent on your thread!!!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Don't worry - yeah I am wondering sometimes why I still want him. I am much calmer today - he is such an idiot sometimes - I know he is worried about his job - this is going on for months - he is under constant thread that he could lose his job - I know it'd hard for him - he could just talk to me though instead of blaming me for everything under the sun. And I wish I could let this suspicion of him having had an affair back in March/April go but I just can't. Friends tell me maybe he just thought about it but didn't actually do it and then I tell them the following:
The first time he came home after he told me how unhappy he was he went out one night and came home drunk - we had sex that night - I am having very cold feet - always had and he used to call me his "reptile" - anyway my feet brushed his leg and he said: what is it with you women and cold feet? I froze for for one second I remember and I have never forgotten that comment - I actually think it was the only moment he might have slipped - but I could be wrong.He pretends not to remember anything from that night and I never mentioned that comment but it keeps me going when I am doubting myself to find the truth. It sounded like he was comparing me to someone and it sounded recent.
newmama, yeah my theorie about the "famous speech" - I actually remember that I asked him why he had told me that particular day - what had happened that it happened then. Remember, he was abroad, not home. His answer: " The last time I was home I had a look at our bank statements and that was the reason I told you now"
I actually had a look at those statements recently and they looked the same as always - not good but the same as always.
And there was another thing I noticed - he sent me a video in April of him working in his spare time at his teamleaders house - tiling - he had gotten his first ever hair cut abroad in 1.5 years - before he always had gotten his haircut at home because of his language barrier.
And when he came home in May - the same trip where we had sex - our whole family went to the next town which is 40 minutes away to buy new underwear for him as he likes the shop so much. I didn't think anything at the time but I read it's one sign of a man cheating - buying new underwear. We drove 40 minutes for new underwear.
sometimes I wonder if the short if you can call it "recovery" attempt we made in July was my last chance with him - until then he was still able to "keep face" - after that many lies about OW2 came out - I wonder if that's the dealbreaker for him - not coming out of this with his image intact.
- he had gotten great jackets 2 years ago abroad and I suggested to get new ones this X-Mas - but he said today that they are $600 together which is a lot - so I suggested something else and when we spoke a few minutes later about the X-Mas lists he said: but the boys have to cut down too (recession and all) - "hello, you are just thinking about to buy jackets for $600 and they have to cut down - what is wrong in this picture lol" the boys wishes don't even come close to that.Sometimes I think it makes a huge difference for him if he spends the money or we do.Anyway I am sure he is going to buy them...I rest my case...