I think he is really "in love" with OW. And he wants to avoid a costly divorce.
I am afraid of his anger to hurt me more emotionally and to propel him into filing for D. I'm a conflict avoider too. I'd have to face the possibility anyhow. Oh I hate this.
M40, H39 M17 T20 D13, S12 H moved out 05/09 D filed 1/10