Think OW is here in my house right now!

[aflowergurlie]

Ok - I know it's super late, but I just got home from being with friends and trying to get my mind off of what went down even though it didn't help much.

First I'll pick back up with exactly what went down from when H came out into the kitchen.

I heard someone coming out of H's bedroom and shut the door behind them. I left my bedroom and went to the kitchen and H was walking out to the kitchen and says Hi to me. I follow him into the kitchen and said "Is there someone else here in the house with you?" H looks at me and doesn't respond. AFG "Is your girlfriend here in the house with you?" H "Well she isn't my girlfriend, but yes there is someone here with me. And I told you on Friday that I would be here." (AFG wanted to laugh out loud at that comment that OW wasn't his girlfriend and had only wished OW would have heard him say that. OMG - can you imagine?!?) AFG "You said that you might have some people over and we've already had this discussion that she is NOT to be one of those people." H starts to motion me towards my bedroom and says quietly "Let's go talk in there." AFG stands firm "No, what I have to say will only take a minute." and continues "I feel that you have completely ignored my requests in regards to bringing this person here and you have completely disrespected me now. The peaceful negotiations that we had previously have been broken. You have 10 minutes to have her leave or I will be calling law enforcement to help me." AFG sits down at kitchen bar counter with glass of water and her cell phone.

H is standing across from me and looks stunned and starts replying "Ok, you do that and you don't know what the repercusssions will be from this. I am dropping you from my health insurance, I'm taking you off the car insurance, I'm not paying for your cell phone anymore, I'm not paying for anything anymore etc. My name is on the lease and I am the one paying for everything and shouldn't have to be told what I can and can't do in my home. And you have two weeks to be out of here."

AFG just calmly during his whole tirade and just kept nodding and said OK, told him he couldn't evict me from my home and we would let the legal process take care of that and then kept looking at the clock and telling him how many more minutes he had left. At the 4 minute mark H says "Fine we'll leave, but give me an hour to be out of here." AFG "No, I'm sorry but you had 10 minutes and you have choosen to use it standing here. You now have two minutes." H just stands across from the bar counter staring at me. Clock gets to one minute mark and H says "Fine we'll leave." as he is walking to his room. H goes in his room closes door and locks it. I hear him talking to OW.

I go to my room and decide to give him like 5-10 minutes to come out or I will go knock and tell him I've called police. H comes back into kitchen and I go out to kitchen. H says "We're leaving." I say "Thank you." H "Are you just going to stay out here and make a big scene?" AFG "No, if that's what you think I'm sorry but I won't." H "Yeah right, I know you." AFG "Ok, I'm sorry you feel that way." H "Can't you just go and wait in your room?" AFG "No, I'm sorry but this is my house too and I don't have to go and hide in my room." H "Fine we'll be out of here." as he starts walking back to his room again. AFG "How long will it take?" as I start walking towards my room. H "10 to 15 minutes." AFG "Please understand that I am being EXTREMELY patient right now and the faster the better." H "Fine." and goes back to his room.

I go in my room and type a quick post on the website here and then grab my camera at someone's suggestion. Go back to kitchen to wait. H comes back out "Oh so you're not going to stay in your room." AFG "No, I'm sorry but I'm not." H "What's with the camera?" AFG "I want to take your picture." H "Why? What for?" AFG "Because you just helped my divorce proceedings immensely." H "What do you mean?" AFG "You'll find out, don't worry." H "Fine, you can take my picture, go ahead. And I know you're going to have something snide to say aren't you." AFG realizes that H thinks she is going to make a scene is going to prove that she isn't and starts trying to walk around H to go to his bedroom. H blocks me and says "what are you going to do?" AFG "I just want to say Hi, my name is AFG is all." H "Fine, I'll bring her out here."

AFG goes back into kitchen to wait. Few minutes later H comes walking around the corner rolling OW's big-ass zebra print suitcase. Little ways behind him she comes around the corner and I was shocked. She was not at all like the mental image I had captured/created in my mind from the two second look at the pictures I had back in September. She is older, looks worn down/out, trashy, yucky, icky. I was most suprised by that, because that was not what I was expecting at all. Anyways I just smiled at her and said "Hi, my name is AFG." She has big J-Lo sunglasses on so I can't see her eyes, but she says back with a sheepishness "I'm OW." I then repeated her name back to her because she said it low and I wanted to make sure I heard it right." OW "Yes." AFG "Ok." H is by the garage door opening it to take her suitcase out and she is behind him. They are both kinda of stalling weirdly, like just waiting for me to blow up or have more to say. But I just stood there watching them both and did a mocking smile on my face. H looks at me before closing garage door and says Bye.

I still can't believe how powerful, dignified, controlled, and completely brave I was during that entire episode. I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF!!!!

15-20 minutes after they left I got the text from H while I was on the phone with his mom telling her what happened. "Thank you for being calm. Sorry if I caught you off guard with all this." And then about another 45 minutes later another text "Guess your not going to respond?". I never responded to either. I read PDT's advice just a little while ago and figured a middle of the night text was not in good form. So maybe tomorrow morning I will send that one? Or just let it lie now?

I left the house within an hour after they left and when I got back here tonight at 2:00 a.m. H isn't here, which I expected. His work shoes are still here though, so I know he'll have to come by in the morning.

I have no problems packing his crap and having it ready by the door for him, but he is the one paying all the bills. I work part-time and can't afford to pay the bills with my income. So we've had an agreement during this in-house separation that I buy all the groceries and cook and clean the common areas of the house as my contribution, while he continues to pay everything else. I have been looking for a full-time job so that I could afford to move out on my own, but haven't been able to secure one as of yet. That is why I wanted to seek legal counsel/representation first to make sure of what my rights are before kicking him out, for fear of him not paying anything because he isn't here anymore and/or hasn't been mandated to do so legally.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate all the hugs, encouragement, and words of support that I received during this unbelievable day. I am still in shock and haven't come down from the adrenaline pumping through me all day yet to process the real and raw emotions of it all. It feels like a complete out of body experience. Not even one tear shed today which is pretty insane for me. I'm sure they will be coming soon...ugh.