3 things I'm thankful for: 1. A great message at church - very good info about the 3 hats that satan wears they include tempter, promoter and accuser. It was also good to hear a message that talked a lot about forgiveness. 2. Bday party that DD and I attended - good too see friends; thankful that I'm still good friends with many of the ppl I went to HS with. 3. A couple of good moments with H tonight - we talked a teeny bit.
Today had some good moments and also some sad moments. When I was at the bday party, I had mixed emotions. I was glad to be there and glad to see friends. BUT...I sat there looking around and honestly, I really felt like a failure - like if I was a better wife my H wouldn't have left me. It's so hard to not take the blame and to think if only...I nagged less, made him more of a priority, thanked him more, etc...etc....
Seeing my friends, all cute and happy and there with their husbands...ugh...it's hard. I'm truly happy for them, but sad for me and DD.
But, I have a choice to make - allow the sadness to defeat me or to rise above with the help of God. I choose to rise above and I choose to ask for God's help.
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
