Still in the tunnel with hubby

[kjensen]

I think H is feeling the full effects of his choice already. He's projecting anger. H called this morning to say he was sorry he missed me(and the girls?) yesterday when he came back home for more stuff. H told me how his cousin keeps the temp low(50s) in his townhome and how H's room is facing north and above the garage and freezing...

I listened and validated. I told H I'd gathered a few things he might need but missed (his blood pressure RX)..and H immediately said-"oh your trying to get my stuff out..." that theme came up later when H came by to pick a few things up.."OK I got it, I'll leave"...I kept saying that was not what I was doing-I was trying to help...I didn't want him to leave-I had wanted him to stay..I was not angry as H thought(projected)...

Very MLC I think. He's the one leaving, hiring a lawyer, wanting a D, yet acts as if I am the one kicking him out....

I sked H if he'd like some tea(to do a 180 and show him I actually did want him to stay and spend time as it was obvious he wanted to) and he immediately said yes.

My mom called and I didn't pick up but H saw her name on the caller ID and said in a rush that he was going and I could have the rest of his tea...he left really quickly-it was weird.

H told his mom about the separation/divorce-something he'd avoided completely during the first separation. He said his Dad might have been on the line but if so he said nothing...His mom was supportive he said and he didn't go into detail with her.

H made a point of calling me later on my cell(I missed the call) to tell me something funny he noticed..I didn't call back.

Very sad. I know H isn't happy about his living situation-he HATES the cold and since we are getting extreme cold for Colorado and snow, this is the weather that usually throws him into a winter 'depression'...

So we'll see if there's more projecting to happen. I'm doing OK in comparison. Its all relative.