Newbie, seeking perspective

[sandi2]

Hi Doc, I'm Sandi. I was almost a WAW a little over two years ago. I had been M for a long time. Came from a good Christian family and M a good man. My children were grown and I started having health problems. I was on quite a bit of meds and went to several doctors.....which resulted in changing medication a lot of times.

I suppose I will never know for certain if that had anything to do with my thought process, but I had been on a lot of different anti-depressants and then was suddenly taken off of them. I won't blame my actions on the medication changes, but that was when I became involved in an EA, and it came close to becoming a PA. Thank God I found this board before I totally thew my life to the wind.

I never walked away....but I did keep the WAW mentality for quite some time. But, my M is in tact now, and we are doing good. I told you all of that hoping that it might encourage you not to give up. If you think you can be able to forgive your W and if she comes out of her WAW fog....you can make this work.

actually, four hours later, I'm sitting here alone, and this is so hard. Maybe I was in shock earlier. I just can't think about everything she admitted to. Its devastating, esp. as I sit in our house with our two kids, and she's not here anymore.

I'm sure you had anger on your side when you told her to get out of the house. Now, the reality of being without "her" is hitting you. Not that there is ever a good time for families to break apart, but it always seem so terrible when it happens at Christmastime. I hope you will make plans to keep yourself busy and don't be alone unless you really choose to be, b/c you need to be around people that appreciate you. Holidays can be a lonely time for lots of people (as I'm sure you know), so be kind to yourself.

Are you a Christian? Many people have their faith that carries them through the tough times. It is encouraging to me to read how many people here on the board are Believers and share their faith.

It is very important that you come as often as you can and post on the board. Read threads that others have written and you will realize how many have stories like yours. You may read advice that would apply to your stitch. If you will reach out to others on their threads, it will help to build up your support group. Give people time to find you and post to you, okay? Please don't stop coming back.

Take care,
Sandi