What do you see as your personal goals in your sitch? Good question. The answer after THE BOMB would have been to win her back. Now? I have doubts, just like she has. As I said before... it's complicated.
When it comes to my life I don't make hasty decisions. I 'educate' myself, evaluate all possible scenarios and plan accordingly. Out of ignorance I made the standard errors on BOMB day. I reacted and kept on reacting... to the detriment of the relationship. Somewhere along the road I forgot that I was a man. It was a gradual change and that's why I didn't notice it. I put her needs before my own and compromised my values.
Since then I managed to detach and have entered an introspective phase. I'm drawing up my own 'list of demands' i.e. what I want, need and expect from this R. In the meantime I'm gradually implementing her list of demands (aka spew). Not specifically for Mrs Gno, but because they will help me in a future R with whoever it may be. I have chosen what I think is acceptable to change and rejected things I will not compromise on. Hey... beat me up if you want, but I have my standards. Some people on this board call them N.U.T.S.
When the time is right and I feel I'm in a position of strength... and I perceive Mrs Gno is ready to "talk"... we'll talk. Until then I continue to work on myself. The agenda of that 'talk' is still "in progress" and to be determined.
