I disagree with Rob. Why should Dudess tell him she wants H home for Christmas? He basically abandoned her, gallavanting off to Europe, implying he no longer wanted her to come over like originally planned, ostensibly following around the object of his obsession. Dudess is the dutiful wife staying home to take care of the house, the dogs, and the financial matters.

If she were to say, "H, it would be nice for you to come home and spend Christmas with me" it just further demonstrates that she will be waiting there for him whenever he decides to come back to real life.

Dudess has been DBing--GAL, moving forward with doing what is best for her. What else is she supposed to do? Emailing/calling H would be pursuing. Up until now his infrequent emails have been only about business so she matched his tone in responses.

How often do we advise people to get a lawyer and make sure they protect themselves legally just to be safe. That's all Dudess is doing, she's not money-grubbing. If her marriage was going great I assume her H wouldn't think twice about paying for her necessary dental work. So why shouldn't she ask for him to pay for it now? They are married and it is a health concern.

Dudess, my first instinct would be to ignore it for now because I would not want to have that conversation via email. However, maybe it's good to explain just that. "H, I understand that you would like to move forward with making plans for the future. I would like to do the same. Because this is so important I prefer to discuss it in person. Wishing you the best this holiday season."

If you love somebody, set them free.
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